My sister is talking to my niece: “…you’re so beautiful, yes you are. And if anyone tells you differently you will cut them down. I wonder what weapon you’ll use when you conquer the world? I’m thinking battle ax. Are you a battle ax girl? Yes you are. Yes you are. Because you’re a conqueror. I hope your parents play enough Queen for you.”
My sister gave the niece a bath, and she just picked her up with the towel (carefully and safely, don’t worry). “This is how the stork carried you! Except there is no stork. Your parents had sex to make you.”
My sister is giving the niece her last bottle: “Do you want the rest of this? there’s one ounce left. You don’t have to have it, though, you’re always allowed to say no to things that people want to put in your mouth.”
1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.
2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.
3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.
4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.
5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.